Thursday, May 16, 2013

Confessions Of A Dog Sniffer

I'll be writing or trying to write when suddenly, I just get stuck. The words won't come. My mind grows mute. Usually, when this happens I get up from my chair and just walk away from my desk and the computer.

Sometimes I wander out to the kitchen, which is never a good solution for a woman in constant battle with the scale. Mostly, though, what I like to do is wander to my bedroom where I know Dog-Dog is curled up on the bed, probably with his head tucked in so his neck is bunched up, which means he's probably also snoring to wake the dead.

I like to stick my head in that little space between his face and the front of his body and snuggle in. He usually sighs loudly, as if he's putting up with yet another interruption from his human-- as if it's really not his problem I'm avoiding writing again, and why must I insist on disturbing his nap for my lack of creativity? Occasionally, however, he'll act happy to see me and thump his stubby, little tail.

But here's where it gets kind of weird. With my face buried in his neck, I take a big long sniff. He stinks. He always smells like a dog, even after a bath. And then I tell him, my voice muffled by fur and the folds in his crooked neck, "You are a tinky dog!"  Yes, "tinky". It's, um, baby-talk for "stinky".

Generally speaking, I'm not a big fan of cutsie-speak. I roll my eyes at parents who use baby-talk with their...well.. babies. I'm quite sure I never spoke like that with my children! How would they ever learn correct English? But it's different with Dog-Dog. I'm positive, as demonstrated by his lack of obedience, he doesn't understand English at all. In fact, I'm not even sure he speaks Dog all that well. So I make my voice little and replace or eliminate letters in my words and with my face stuffed in his smelly folds ask him, "Are you my baby? Are you my tinky, tinky baby?"

If he's not totally exasperated with me by now and struggling to get up and jump off the bed and away from me--if he's in a snugging mood--his tale will wag very fast at my tone of voice, which makes me speak like that even more. It's an insidious and somewhat pathetic cycle I'm really glad no one actually ever witnesses, and until now, was my own dirty little secret.

But here's where it gets worse. Worse than muffled baby-talk to your dog? Yes. I sniff him again and sigh with full contentment. His stink is his own unique smell and when I breathe it in, I smell my Dog-Dog, and I have to tell him I love him, "I wuvs you! I wuvs my tinky dog-dog!" And I sniff again.

I'm not sure if cats have the same unique smell and maybe a cat owner is reading this right now feeling a bit superior about their cleaner animal who would never, ever put up with the indignation of sniffing humans and people who refuse to add proper consonants to their words. Or maybe a non-pet owner is reading this feeling affirmed by their gut instinct to never, ever be an animal owner and degrade into a pitiful baby-talking, animal-sniffing human being. But I have compassion for those folks. They'll never know the joy of an animal glad to see them or keep them company during a long writing day. They'll never experience the deeply satisfying feeling of animal-cuddles that slow the heart rate and calm the mind.

It's okay, though. The rest of us cooing, sniffing messes can form a club. All you have to do is sign beneath the following statement:

I pwomise to wuv and snuggle and snuffle my wittle animal and tell him (or her) that he (or she) is the best wittle dog-dog (or cat-cat) in the whole world, several times a day.

Signature here: ___________________________________________________

I feel much better having come clean. I don't feel silly at all anymore now that there is an official club of such fine, animal-loving company.

Official Badge

19 comments:

  1. Oh, Julie I loved this post! Your Dog-Dog is ADORABLE!! I do the same things with Vern, too. I Wuv and Snuggle and Snuffle him every day...and talk Baby Talk! BUT, he doesn't stink. He smells awesome, which I don't know why...he smells like the crew cut head of a little boy!! :)
    I'm now following this wonderful blog of yours!

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    1. Hi Becky-- you're so sweet-- thanks. This is my "play" blog. It was really fun to read all the comments from this post, but when I turned off Google+ comments, it took them all away. People really love their doggies! I'm glad to know you can sign and be a part of the club. ;)

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    2. Hi Julie, thanks back to you! And I'm sorry you lost a bunch of comments! I haven't signed up for the Google+ thing....don't know if I will later or not....I'm already pretty overloaded with computer "stuff!"

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    3. I have a profile on Google+ and really like it, but with Blogspot you can also have Google+ comments which I tried, as an experiment but if you don't have a Google+ account, you can't comment-- that's not what I wanted!

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  2. I liked this post very much!

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

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  3. Your dog is so cute and he looks very content. I'll bet there are lots of people who use baby talk with their dogs. They're always like children to us. We don't use baby talk with our dog, Elliott. But we do hope he understands regular English! D

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    1. Deanie, I'm quite sure your dog-dog is better for the real human speak!

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  4. Thanks Gina! :)

    Deanie-- I'm a mess with my dog-dog. We adopted him when he was 5 from a Weimaraner rescue and he's got so many weird habits. I'm quite sure no one but us could put up with him. Good thing he's lovable!

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  5. I snuggle with them all, cat, dog, or horse. Yes, I sniff. I know their scent and can tell, with my eyes closed, which cat is near by. They don't stink just have a unique scent. Well, my horses get a bit much. My Black Magic, one of my Danes, can get ripe if he rolls in something. eww.

    I have Great Danes. When I caught a quick glimpse of Dog-Dog I thought he was too. I had to look pretty close and then, no, that's not a Dane it has to be a Weimaraner. They're sweet dogs.

    Sia McKye OVER COFFEE

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    1. Oh you know that's funny, Sia, friends of mine had Dane pups with unclipped ears and when they were pups, they really looked like Weimers.

      You'd have appreciated some of the other comments on here but when I switched from Google+ comments to regular, I lost them all. Yes, Dog-Dog has his own unique scent, and I do love to bury in his neck. I can just feel my blood pressure lower. :) Thanks for stopping by.

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  6. Your confession is safe with me.

    As a cat owner, I must admit that I regularly push my face into theirs -- many cats will "head bump" an offered forehead...

    Pearl

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    1. Hi Pearl,

      Thanks for the pet lovin' camaraderie. We animal lovers (and sniffers) need to stick together. Your kitty sounds precious. Thanks for stopping by. :)

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  7. I snuggle with and sniff my dog too. I used to find the smell bad, when I was exclusively a cat-owner. But no more. My puppy's smell is so comforting to me now. I also call her a whole slew of silly things including "fuzz butt," "puppy face," and "puppy girl." Though I guess she's two now and no longer a puppy...still, pets are the best!

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    1. My dog-dog is 10 and I still call him Fluppy Puppy and Pupper Doodles and other shamefully embarrassing names. He's rolling his eyes at me even as I type.... as he lays on my leg. So glad I'm in such fine company!

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  8. You're puppy is so cute!!! I actually think my pup smells good but she happens to be one of the few breeds that doesn't ever need a bath... so I guess she has natural ways of smelling good. Haha

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    1. Kelley, Blue (his real name that we never use) is a mess and usually, honestly, doesn't small too badly unless he's participated in one of his favoriate activities: poop rolling. But that's another story for another post...

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  9. Ha! Becky gave me this link after I posted about dogs. Love how you incorporated the smell of dog into the love of dog. I have not been using my nose like a dog. I especially love how both my dogs enjoy and search out my morning breath.

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    1. This made me laugh. We used to have a dog who would wake us up in the morning. She'd go into this weird stealth mode trying to crawl on the bed quietly and slowly, as if she was sneaking up. Then quietly she'd lower her nose closer and closer to our faces. If we didn't notice her getting up, it was startling to wake up nose-to-nose with her furry face. Then she'd fly in to a flurry of wiggles and greetings. They have funny personalities!

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