Thursday, August 15, 2013

In The Midst of Storms

Life's been rough lately. I needed a writer's get-away. Truth is, I just needed to get-away. Escape. Change this rut of sadness I seem to be in. I packed a half of a peanut butter and jam sandwich, a cheese stick and a thermos of something to drink. I grabbed my notebook, pens and camera and off I went. Desperately seeking quenching for my soul, I headed to a river park fifteen minutes from my house.

I jumped on to the highway, accelerating to keep up with the speeds when a moving shape caught my eye. From out of the pasture along the side of the road, a young doe gingerly stepped out. I slowed the car down, hoping no one was following too closely behind. I know these gentle animals; they are skittish and nervous, and can without hesitation, fly right into an oncoming car. She started across. My windows were down and I could hear her hooves clipping along the road. As I watched, a van coming in the opposite direction headed straight towards her. I cringed. With a scratching of hooves on the road, she danced nervously, darting in random directions. Fortunately, the oncoming car slowed down in time to let our pretty lady cross, finally, in safety. I sighed with relief. She seemed to barely escape her disastrous fate. I was glad the outcome hadn't been inevitable.




Finally, I pulled in the drive to the park and got out to stroll along the path. All around the parameter of the sky dark clouds hovered, threatening, but above me it was still blue and the sun shone, warming my skin. I breathed deep trying to let my stress go and with my camera in hand, headed down the path. My senses were heightened to the sounds of robins and screeching magpies, to the buzz of the bees on white and purple thistles, and to the smells of rotting leaves and the pungent perfumes of plants. I let my eyes guide me and focused the camera and my vision on the wonders around me.



After a while, the path led me to a rocky ledge overlooking a pooled area in the river. I sat down, pulled out my notebook and lunch and stared into the slow currents of the water, gazing into the swirls and flow of its repeating patterns. As I ate, I noticed a few concentric circles forming on the water surface. I peered into the murky depths, trying to see their source. There had to be fish, probably trout of some kind, swimming beneath the surface. I stared so intently into the water, I was startled when a silvery form jumped out to snack on a bug, returning with a soft plop. I was watching for fish swimming and jumping, when I noticed an s-shaped disturbance across the water's surface. I sat still and mesmerized on my perch and spied a small nose sticking above the water, followed by an undulating rope-like body. A water snake of some kind! I watched until it disappeared into the grass on the opposite shore.


I was in awe. I had left the house so agitated and here, sitting quiet by the river, I felt opened up to miracles. I would have missed the bees and berries, smells and sounds, fish and snakes, had I not been still and quiet and watchful.

Soon, I noticed the heat was no longer on my shoulders. The dark clouds had finally grown together, choking out the sun. Sighing, I put away my wrappers and screwed the lid on my thermos. Somehow in this solitude, alone with nature, I felt cared for, a tender presence in my heart. I laughed a little at myself as I put a closing thought in my notebook: if only I had seen a deer walk out from the tall grasses of the shore to drink from the river! What a sign that would have been!

I lifted my small pack to my back and headed back towards my car. Again, for the third time that day, a movement caught my eye. On the opposite side of the river, a tawny shape walked out from the grasses--not just a deer, but a lovely buck. He stared at me as I raised my camera to snap his majestic image. Then, slowly, in no hurry, he made his way across the river. My heart felt truly felt gifted and hugged.


Later that same day, after I was home and still glowing from the beauty of my morning, my son's chemotherapy doctor called and we set up his first treatment appointment. When I turned on my computer shortly after, I received a rejection on a freelance job I had applied for. In short, life hit again.

Sometimes I feel like that sweet doe trying to skitter my way across life's highway, avoiding the onslaught of impending disaster, barely escaping collisions with fate or like my sun is being crowded out by an impending storm. But my time at the park reminded me there are gifts when we have given up hope for them and miracles in the ordinary if we are still enough to see them.



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28 comments:

  1. What a wonderful outing. I hesitate to use the word awesome, but those were truly awesome sights—God given and just for you.

    Great post, Julie, and it seems like you got exactly what you needed.

    M.L. Swift, Writer

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    1. Thanks Mike. It was a much needed respite. I felt so tenderly cared for.

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  2. I've experienced this too. I do not have such parks and sights nearby as the cave is in the middle of one of the biggest and most crowded cities of the world, but Mother Dragon's garden is quite a beautiful and peaceful place and it soothes my heart and temper, every time. :) SH!

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    1. Nature, whether it be a part of something we nurture or our surroundings, has a way of giving back to us very gently and tenderly. I'm so glad you have your gardens.

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  3. This was just beautiful! The saying... "take time to stop and smell the roses" comes to mind. Your words and pictures were just what I needed today!! God has certainly blessed with this gift of writing... and now these words have blessed me!

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    1. Debbie-- you were so sweet to swing by and comment. Thank you. For me and my hummingbird mind and anxious heart right now, it certainly takes the time to slow down and be still to really see what is being given to me.

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  4. Our Heavenly Father has created such beauty for us, and this day was His gift to you on your time away. "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." (James 1:17) How wonderful that is!

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    1. Thank you Mary Ann. What a wonderful verse to share. I will mediate on that when my heart is heavy. I love that I live in a place where this kind of abundance is before me all the time.

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  5. Beautiful post, Julie. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and pictures. So glad you got the gift of peace when you so needed it.

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    1. Thanks Ruth. It was a lovely respite in a bit of turmoil.

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  6. Once again you bring tears to my eyes, Julie. What a beautiful escape, even though brief. Your photos are excellent!

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    1. Hi Pat-- probably because we are both walking across that road sometimes-- we share empathy. I am not a photographer, but I sure love taking my camera with me on outings. It really helps me focus on beauty.

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  7. Beautiful pics:) I totally understand the need to get away from it all. I also practice getting away inside my head everyday...really helps me stay sane:)

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    1. Although I usually say sanity is highly overrated, I have to go with you on this one, Mark. I find it peaceful to "tune out and tune in" on a daily basis as well.

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  8. Delightful account! I sure hope you can find some lasting peace. It is fleeting for me, but I am perfectly willing to take most of the blame for this.

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    1. I've definitely found the emotions to be fleeting but trying to dig deeper for the "real" peace. Thanks, Jerry-- hope you find it too.

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  9. Hi, Julie. I'm sorry to hear that life has been squeezing you hard of late. I hope and pray that it begins to treat you and yours much better in the immediate future. Thank you for sharing these thoughts and photos. It made me feel as if I was there with you...or in the case of the snake, hiding safely behind you! ;)
    Wishing you the best. May it be a much better week!

    -Jimmy

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    1. I have to say, I'm definitely not a big snake fan either! Hope your book sales are soaring!

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  10. This was beautifully written with breathtaking images! I'm also sorry that you have so much to deal with right now. Hope all goes well as your son begins treatments. I'll be sending lots of positive thoughts your way.

    Julie

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    1. Thanks, Julie for your kind thoughts. It was a lovely outing and one I'll need to repeat soon!

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  11. Well done :) I want to go! I NEED to go. I envy your wonderful time away from reality. I hope you keep finding the peace you need, my friend.

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    1. Speaking of needing quiet time and refreshment-- I hope you find your space soon. You've had so much going on!

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  12. I am so sorry to hear of your son's illness. My prayers are with him.

    You are obviously strong enough to weather this storm. Keep yourself grounded with moments like this one whenever you can, be gentle with yourself and trust that this amazing world is capable of those miracles- the big as well as the small.

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    1. Thanks Bev. Quiet times likes this are restorative, aren't they? I appreciate the kind thoughts and prayers.

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  13. Lovely photo's and so wonderful you have a place to escape to that is so breathtaking. Those are the moments that get us through the rest of it!

    Your last sentence brought it home! Thank you!

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    1. Thanks Yolanda for stopping by. It was a lovely respite and one I need to repeat soon. Taking care of our souls is so important in the midst of stress!

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  14. Beautiful. What a wonderful thing that you seized the opportunity for escape. So sorry to hear about your son and the job...

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    1. Hi Jessika, it was lovely! I did another hike later in the week that was also very restorative. Thanks for the thought on my son. We'll get to the other side, I feel confident. As for the rejection, so par for the course in writing!

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